For Those That Suffer Alone, I See You

 

    I decided today to start writing again in hopes of helping others with Chronic Illness navigate through all the emotions and hardships that those who have never had this type of illness can understand. The feeling of knowing you have an illness that causes chronic pain, nausea, dislocations, GI issues, effects your teeth, eyes and hair is hard enough. Imagine now, realizing that this illness will be with you everyday, every hour, for the rest of your life is not something easily imaginable until it happens to you. The energy it takes to function while your body is dealing with so many symptoms leaves you constantly worn out. Now, imagine that you had no support system in place. You are unmarried, your only family is your parents and a brother who is in Georgia living off his girlfriend and your parents because he chooses not to work. Plus, your parents have little sympathy for your condition and view you as burden.

 You may say that I am being unreasonable, or that certainly must not be the case, but when you've heard it straight out of their mouths, over and over again, it becomes too much to bear. This past month my mother alone has told me I ruined her life, that I am nothing but a burden, and she wants to never see me again. Dealing with a chronic illness and all the symptoms that go along with it is unbearable, but not having someone to help or talk to on a day where you are barely making it through is too much to bear. I can never explain the depths of loneliness that comes with being in this situation. But, I will say I wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemy. 

Today, before we ring in the new year with hopes and wishes, I wanted to say that to all of those in my situation that I see you. I know how you feel and you are strong enough to keep going. If nothing else, I hope to create an online community of people in similar situations where we can start a conversation about those of us who often feel unseen. Please share this post with anyone you know who may be in my situation. I want them to know that they are not alone. I promise to keep this blog going more frequently in the new year.